What is reality?
I've lost touch with it completetly. If I ever was in touch with it in the first place. I have these ideas about the way things should be, and I become totaly blind to the way things are because of them.
Where do they come from? Really, I'm just a die-hard romantic living for hollywood moments. But that's not what life is about. That's not what's important. Goodness, I don't even know what I really want anymore, I just buzz around the storybookish characters and experiences like a moth to a lightbulb- it blinds me to any reason and shuts out all other alternatives. I can't tell you how many people and oprotunities I have missed because I'm so caught up in my stupid little halmark story.
Do I love people or just relationships? Do I enjoy writting or do I want to be the kind of person who enjoys writting? The lines are so blurred I can't even make a distinction. How many of my emotions am I actually feeling? Do I just react the way my saop-opera script says I should? Would I care about anything if you took away the thrill I get from the drama?
God is more than just a inspiring guru for spiritual stimulation. Love is more than a romantic story. People are more than characters. I am more than just an actor playing a part. Life is more than what I decide to call it. Things happen for reasons that go outside the covers of the novel and happily ever after doesn't even exist this side of heaven.
Every clash with reality leaves me feeling hopeless and destitute. But I'm the only one living in this world, and it's crashing down around me.
Let me ride on your dreams
You've no idea how much I love you
Take me with you back to planet earth
I just want to hold onto you
Cuz you're the only part of reality I can bear
Sunday, May 06, 2007
please shoot the narrator inside my head
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5 comments:
thank you for articulating that.
you have no idea how often i have thought those words over and over and over and over again.
just...to react how we imagine "who we are" reacts.
or to live out something just so it can be a fun memory to have.
or to pretend so much when nobody's looking that pretending becomes reality, and you become the person you made up.
so make up a really good person!
I think we've all thought that, just never wrote it down, or were afraid to maybe.
I have to remind myself when I'm writing that I'm writing a book, not a movie. maybe I should remind myself that I'm not living either, but real life.
and what's the point of real life? to meet with God...to try to catch glimpses of Him in the beauty He's created...to help the lost see that beauty...to give Him praise for everything we do and say...
I'll give a rousing Amen to Verya's comment!I also totally agree with Sam. I know that i've done stuff just so I could say "you remember that time when..." To make an inside joke or something like that. At the same time it's good to have a almost dreamlike outlook on life because otherwise all the junk in the world will pull you down. You just don't want to lose touch with reality. :-)
YES Verya, exACTly.
wow, you mean I'm not the only one?
well great, now we've established that life is pretty much just an illusion...
:-/
Lol, maybe that's ok sometimes...
BTW anyone seen the Prestige? great movie
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