Monday, March 26, 2007

Tell me a story/you know I will hear

Iiiiiii'm back!

Well, officialy. My mom let me get on kind of sparaticaly towards the end of the week. And I could still get on at work and stuff... computer privilages are such a subjective thing to loose.

Last week I officialy went crazy. As evidenced by my last post. I was restless and unperdictable... one minute I'd be moody and depressed, the next I'd be insanely hyper. Either way I was nonfunctional. One day I wrote this really long blog post that perfectly captured everything I was thinking and feeling... but it was so depressing I decided not to post it.

Thankfuly that seems to have past now anyway.

Sometimes it drives me crazy how little people try to understand one another. Doesn't anyoen realize that not everyone thinks the same way you do? Communication is not just about talking, hello. You have to get out of your own set ways of thinking and try to get inside the other person's brain. I've been tuned into this all day, and it blows me away how little of what most people say actually penetrates the thick heads of their listeners. Smile and nod people, just keep smiling and nodding as though you understand... and then say something totaly unrelated, but it won't matter, because the other person is only smiling and nodding at you, too.

*ahem* Sorry. It just makes me want to scream.

Another thought. I've decided that "Friends" is wayyyy too general of a word. Cuz it covers such a wide range of relationships... do you think it's a bad thing to have some shallow relationships? There are so many of them in my life. People I've known for years and years and years and still know virtualy nothing about, even if we do sit next to each other by default and steal food without asking, etc. Can you be "close" to someone without having a deep friendship? Is any friendship worthwhile if it's not meaningful? What about the other way around? Is a friendship sitting on air if you only call each other to pour out your hearts, but never hang out in real life? Is it too much to ask that the people who demand my time also let me into their inner lives a little bit, and that those who demand my emotional support also give me a little of their time?

current mood: irritated. :-|

8 comments:

Sam said...

yeah. i think i've said as much in quite a few blog posts.
everyone's just looking straight through everyone else, not even seeing them in their rush to say their things.
it's a war i've been fighting for a long time, to try to really honestly listen and remember and ask.
some people just don't even bother to pretend to care.

and about "friends": yeah.

*sigh*
people are dumb.

tough stuff, emily.
praying for you!
though, probably, by today, it will be a completely different mood. lol.

unpredictabiliy forever!

emily said...

Darn, did I sound depressed or down again? I was trying to be light hearted. I'm totaly happy. Really seriously.

How about this. From now on, if I'm depressed, I'll just say so. :-)

Alternatly, I could just wear a mood ring.

Anonymous said...

Mood ring . . . LOL

Anyway,
I think you need to practice being light hearted then . . .

So aparently I can get on the computer before I check my math. However, I do have to be carefull, cause I can't just get on the computer every morning, all morning. I worked really hard on my math today . . . I hope I got enjough right!


I miss you all!

Dorothy said...

aw...we miss you too Eowyn!

yes, I've thought enough even if I haven't really posted or talked about it. tough times with friends the past year has really made me think about that one a lot...how do we define friends? what in the world constitutes a 'best friend,' lol? I guess everyone has their own definition, and personally I have a lot of aquaintances I call friends just because of how loosely the term is used by most people. as long as you know your relationships with those people, I guess it really doesn't matter what you call them.

No, you didn't sound too depressed to me. at least not compared to last week.

e-mail, coming soon to an inbox near you Em!!!

oof, communication. isn't that that thing that you work on really hard for about a week and a half, then give up because no one else works or sees your efforts?

I've got and idea! (or alternately, eurika!) how about we all work on communication TOGETHER?!? maybe then it would be easier, since we know we're all trying, than say trying at different times to work on it, but no one else knows you're even paying attention.

yes, people are so dumb. ever think of how adam and eve must have communicated before the fall? no arguments, nothing! can't wait for heaven...

Sam said...

not exactly down, but sarcastically irritated, perhaps. lol.

i am SO buying you a mood ring sometime.

Ringo Starfox said...

Okay Sorry but I have to put in my two cents. We're calling people dumb well I hate to break it to you all but we're people too. I know that each and every one of you, including myself, have been this way at some point or are being this way right now. It's so much easier to have a friendship that just surface level and doesn't mean much. There's no risk and there's no opportunity for hurt. If you don't want to be hurt than that's the friendship for you. Honestly, good friends only happen if one person takes the step and keeps digging until they've found the real person underneath the mask. It's not something that happens in a day or a week it something that takes a long time to cultivate and grow. I don't mean to sound rude but it sure sounds like everyone is considering themselves above this "shallowness". I hate to break it to you, but we all do it. Romove the log before the splinter.

Sam said...

in retrospect it looks like i was saying "yeah, people are like that, not me."

but of course i struggle with it, i act like a complete jerk sometimes. not above it at all. not at all.

we're all just faking our way through it, some just hide it a little better than others, right?

Dorothy said...

Totally right.

Wow, we agree again. we seem to be doing that more frequently.

weird.