You know that part in Ice Age 2, when the little possum convinces the mamoth to catapult him across the valley? And he just takes off and starts flying, like gravity doesn't exist?
Life has felt kind of like that lately. Every day a breeze, flying through time and singing happy sunshine songs along the way.
But there is a scientific law written somewhere which states that all flying possums must eventualy hit trees. I've just yet to find it.
I've hit my tree. The Authority Tree. Planted dead smack in the middle of every valley which could potentialy be catapultable. Set there to make sure that seventeen year olds everwhere will spend the pre-rationed amount of time in the valleys of life. Catapulting from mountain top to mountan top is, apparantly, illegal. So says the Authority Tree, which has a way of talking like the Ents, except much faster and louder.
It's not really the fact that my study group at co-op, which was one of the most memory building parts of my life, has been ripped to shreds by angry co-op moms. Nor is it the fact that my parents are going to review all of my music and most likely take away everything created after the year 1970, or the fact that they're suddenly monitering everything I do on the internet.
It's the acusations. Not just my parents, other authority too- Both to me specificaly and some of my friends as a group. And to some of my friends specificaly. I and we have been called terrible names. I hate it. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I always wanted to be a 'good girl.' And to find out that this is how people see me... I don't know weather to crumble or be angry.
It really made me think. What am I really living for here? How did I end up at this place... and how can I get back? What was I doing wrong, and what can I do right? I feel like I'm back at square one, trying to re-define my life, my identity, my priorities...
Sorry to whine so much. You guys are so great. To those of you who picked me up yesterday, just before I was about to go lock myself in the bathroom and cry... thank you.
Tomorrow is always new, with no mistakes in it... yet.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
No matter how you toss the dice
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6 comments:
rotfl rotfl at the first part. i was thinking "citing the little-known eleventh commandment: thou shalt not loiter."
and then awwwww. glad talking helped: stay strong, don't crumble, stay yourself. there will always be critics and trees and doubt and betrayal.
rotfl...
you're awesome, Sam.
Don't worry Emily. Their are always confusing and anoying thing in life. And unfair things. Don't let other peoples accusations or how they see you upset you to much. Your friends know who you are. Trying to change peoples perception of you is fine, but you can't make everyone understand.
I'll be praying for you Em.
And to echo what Eowyn said, you can try to change others' perception of you to the true you, but anothing thing to remember is not to change yourself unless you're convinced that part of you needs changing. Like Eowyn said, your friends know who you are, and we love you. Don't get too angry...it's unhealthy, ha-ha. And if you really need a good cry just have it and be done. Like you said...tomorrow is a new day without any mistakes in it yet. Love that saying!
I know what it's like to lose a lot of things you love, esp. concerning co-op. Stick it through though. The sun stil shines through tree branches, even if it's harder to see, and soon you'll be flying again.
oh Emmy...*huggles*.....I hope I helped a little that day.
remember that sometimes people seem to stick the trees in the wrong places, but God always places the trees exactly where he means to.
Wow... insightful.
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