I think I've pretty much given up trying to be transparent, even to my best friends. It's so difficult, trying to access my own emotions and translate them into common speak, and the fact of the matter is that nobody cares that much anyway. Nobody. It's like Anna was saying, people will be there for you as much as they can but we all have to live our own lives. The rest of that void can only be filled in by God, like Donald Miller pointed out in Searching for God Knows What. Something tells me this reserve is a standard form of maturity, but I'm not sure it's one I want to adhere to. Transparacy has always been a very important vallue to me, and now all of the sudden I'm wondering if it's really more of a vice. Like being so open minded your brains fall you.
It's funny how obsessed people are with conformity. School is a terrible reflection of inteligence, table manners are a terrible reflection of courtesy, fashion is a terrible reflection of taste. Most people understand that, deep down, but are still interested in conforming to these faulty systems because you either have to play the game by the rules, dumb as they may be, or just sit out the whole time and watch. Eventually we all get to the point where we're so board, or humilliated, or intimidated, that we're willing to submit to anything in order to be a part of it. And once we start playing these games, really playing, we get carried away and it becomes everything, it's win or die trying.
I think dreams should always exist outside of these systems. A dream to be a 4.0 is stupid, but a dream to be smart and gain knowledge is awesome. And in order to accmplish those dreams you have to step outside of the systems and go beyond- school in and of its self won't make you smart.
I learned this from talking to Eric this morning. But see, he also thinks he'd honestly rather sit out than play under such stupid rules, and I don't agree with that either. It's only once you've really played the game that you can start to beat it. The reasons why and the rewards you gain from subjecting yourself to the faulty earth systems don't exist within the system, though.
What do you think?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
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3 comments:
Wow. That's pretty amazing
I agree with you. Completely.
But it's so complicated to try to figure this all out, and even try to explain how to do it in real life. Why don't we just live it?
I am not say, by any means, that what you're saying should not be said.
reminds me of the system in atlas shrugged.
you can add the church as we know it, that is another system that isn't really a good indicator or teacher of true jesus, for lack of better terms.
i can't lie, i've bought into the system to a large extent.
a lot of those things, when they started they were needed, now they're unnecessary but they're followed anyway. because you're respected if you can do well, as long as you follow these rules and these parameters and succeed in this way. that's what blows my mind when i think about it.
or then when everyone "goes outside the system" in the same way, that cracks me up just a bit.
i think what i constantly hear people say when they talk about this, is that they were outside the system (of corporate america or 'in' music or 'in' people or good fashion sense), then they understood and got in and succeeded or got in and were disillusioned. either they're in the system and wish they could get back out to before they played the games, or they're out of the system and wish they'd done it sooner. i think until you've actually played the games and worked the levers on the machine yourself it's hard to believe you're really living all there is to live for.
I see what you're saying, Sam. But we don't live to play the game of fashion. Or conversation, etc.
Ugg, I'm not sure what else to say.
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