Choose an Identity

Thought I'd share what God's been teaching me lately. Yeah... it's kinda long...

About the title. Have you guys ever noticed how funny that sounds? It says it right under the posting box on our blogs: "Choose an Identity:" Anonymous, other user, or your user name.

But then it set me thinking.

For the longest time, I've been preoccupied with my own identity. Who am I? How can I better myself? What did I do wrong to become this way? What do I need to do in order to be KNOWN- to have a real identity? What I choose to be my ultimate purpose in life, and how can I accomplish it? I mean, without an identity- without certain defined strengths- how can I serve God adequately?

But there's one big problem with all those thoughts: They all center around me, as if I had any real control over who I am or what my ultimate purpose in life is. And the harder I tried to make myself an identity, the more dreams I formed. I want this kind of life, I want to be this kind of person, I want to marry this kind of guy (or worse yet, this certain guy), I want to do this and this for God. Oh, yes... it's all in the name of doing good for God and serving Him. What I so often fail to see is that God is actually in control of my life. Imagine that? I would always easily acknowledge that concept, but the application is... *giggle* a little bit harder to grasp. :-)

"Surrender is a daily part of the Christian life. The Lord is jealous for us with a godly jealousy and desires to have first place in every area of our hearts (Ex. 34:14)...

"It is not only our sin and wrong desires that God asks us to give up. He asks for everything. Every part of our heart. Every area of our life. Since He wants to have first place, the Lord will ask us to surrender anything that hinders our relationship with Him. It is not just the big areas He requests, but also the very smallest."

-Sarah Mally, in Before You Meet Prince Charming

Wow. I thought that was a really strange idea. You mean God wants me to give up even the dreams which are intended to glorify Him? Even dreams about serving Him in particular ways? But the more I've thought about it, the more since it's made. Because any specific dream I may have, no matter how godly it is, is wrong if it is not God's will. Because any specific dream I may have, no matter how godly it is, is wrong if it's not God's will. (yes, I said it twice on purpose- cuz it took me at least that many times to accept it)

The point being that we do not choose our own identities. God does. Having a really strong since of identity actually serves only to stand in the way of God's plan for me, especially when an opportunity to serve Him opens up and I consider it to be "not my thing." The only time when any opportunity is not "My thing" is when it is not "God's thing." And all to often, the things that I consider to be "My things" really aren’t "God's things." Also, I don't need to worry about being given circumstances I personally can't handle, because God promises never to do that.

Furthermore, I don’t choose how I am going to serve God- He chooses for me, and shows me the way by opening doors in front of me as I walk through life. So blind faith is a very real concept. If I have dreams to go through certain doors and do certain things for Him which are not His will, I won't notice when He opens a door for me. I'll be to excited about another door somewhere else that may be closed for me, and the harder I try to find a way to open it, the more time I'm wasting when I could be going through the door God opened for me.

Of course, some of my desires may be God's intention for me. But the only way to know which ones are God’s will is to surrender all my dreams to Him and wait and see what doors He opens. So either way, surrender is fundamental.

And in the mean time? There are plenty of basic guidelines laid out in scripture that must be part of a Christian girl's God-given identity. By focusing on those things, I should be kept plenty busy until God opens the next door. :-)