Recently I have been learning that I really can't do God's work for him. Sometimes I get so carried away with my personal adgenda, wanting someone to be saved, wanting to fix a broken relationship, wanting to reform a world of half-way Christians. But I forget to actually pray about these things and start taking control, trying to force the issue. When really, only God can make someone really want to find Him. Or really think seriously about theology. Or really see that the way they are acting is hurting their family.
This has NOT been an easy lesson for me to learn, especially as I realize the way I have actually been pushing people away with my methods, my over-eagerness and all that. But I want to know how I can go about being Christ, as it were, to the people around me- without being up in their faces or acting like I just don't care. I'm thinking the answer is mostly to set the best example possible, something I'm not very good at because I much prefer to blend in, and then to wait patiently for apropriate times to say a few choice words. And pray like crazy. That's got to be more effective than lectures and arguing with people, I would think.
Also, I wish that I knew how to really study the Bible. I really wish I wasn't so exausted every time I start trying, because then I might actually get somewhere. The more I've been thinking about these things, the witnessing and being a "little Christ," the more important it seems that my walk is consistent with my talk. But so often it's not. So often I just don't even know how to pray. I feel like a little more honesty about these struggles from us Christians might make us a lot more accessable to a generation that is obsessed with authenticity, but at the same time, we've got to be serious about this. We've got to be walking with Christ in every possible sense of the word or we're never going to convince anyone that what we have is real.
Anyway. That's my rant for the day, to myself mostly. btw, I am done with school for this quarter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, December 11, 2009
we fight and crawl our way back home, but we're going the wrong way
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7 comments:
Mmm, really good thoughts Em. I think sometimes (ok, most of the time) our egos are just so big that we forget God doesn't NEED us. that He has great things intended for us, that will use our personal strength and truly filling us and satisfying us, but that if we choose to push those things away, He can accomplish His work without us.
So, like you said, we have our agendas and our fantastic church programs 5 nights a week, and we get caught up in ministry so much that it becomes a job. Jesus didn't see ministry as His job; it was His lifestyle.
But you're right, it's really hard.
I currently have THE MOST AMAZING BIBLE EVER - it's the New Living Translation, and I have a life application study Bible. meaning not only is it written in fairly modern speech (which is good for a church kid who memorized "all the important stuff" ten years ago and has now learned to tune it out if it sounds churchy), but it also has a gazillion fantastic notes that explain stuff AND have tips for how to actually apply the lessons to your life.
and I'm reading Hosea and it's freaking amazing.
ok. end rant.
<3 I love you!
hm. in speaking to yourself you often seem to speak to me. thanks. this helps.
"little Christ" - "lifestyle". dig it.
<3 you, Em.
and Verya, does everything you see cause you to have paragraphs of thoughts? I was just noticing that your comments are always long, and it's quite impressive.
haha, I guess so....not EVERYTHING. when I don't leave a comment, it's usually because I don't have thoughts on it.
or because I don't have time. which often happens.
the more tired I am, the longer I can talk. it's pretty awesome.
That sounds like a scary idea, Verya, that God doesn't need us... but I think you're probably right. Huh.
Another thing is that when I'm trying to correct other people I'm asuming that I myself have it right and know what is best for them. So it's in essense an issue of pride. Ugg, I can't wait to be done with sin!
Thanks Danny, it's good to know I'm not just taking to myself around here... although that's good sometimes too. :-)
Hahahaha, Verya, that is pretty awesome.
That is so true! ...and I wish I could write more but as soon as I went to comment I got a phone call...maybe I'll write more later....lol
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