It's a funny thing, this blog. It means way too much to me to have somewhere where I can say whatever I want and people HAVE to listen. Or at least I can think they are listening even if they really arn't, which is fine too.
I have been re-thinking my plans to run away to the oposite side of the world when I'm done with school. I don't think my motives are as noble as I used to think. I think I just want to express my independence and prove that I can do whatever I want with my life. Which isn't really a godly attitude. I'm trying to figure out if there is anything in me that trully cares about people who are starving, and if so, does that justify my going? There has got to be a balance here between sitting around pinning after a husband and just trying to get attention and glory for myself. I'm developing a bad habit of making a lot of motion and noise in my life to shut out the things that are really bothering me rather than taking them straight to God.
Praying for guidence is sticky, uncertain business. I'm never sure where the answers are really comming from. For now I'm just going to focus on trying to serve selflessly around here, which ironically seems much harder than living in a shack feeding starving people.
Does anyone else ever struggle with the apparent meaninglessness of our lives? I mean, all we do is eat and sleep and work and entertain ourselves, and then we start all over again... it's so discouraging sometimes. It makes me want to scream and break out of the trend, but I kind of suspect it's impossible to do that while staying a mortal human being.
Monday, December 28, 2009
I'd like to change the world // it's easier than changing me
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15 comments:
Remember that question in the shorter catechism? What is man's chief end? Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. We need to remember that our lives are primarily for God's glory. And if we do something to glorify God then we should be happy. :D
But that's definitely one of those things that's easier said than done...
I think you're right Em, and we can't escape that, as mortals. That's the nature of things, in a way.
But I think it's only as pointless and boring as you make it.
Ahhh yes. As just being lowly mortals here, its hard (well, impossible) to fully live our entire lives out to the Lord.... sadly.
I think it's vitally important to keep in mind that God does NOT expect perfection from us. Some of the "best" Christians I know live really rough-around-the-edges kind of lives, and have major struggles, but what I admire so much in them is that they give 110% to the Lord, even and especially when it's very hard to do so. They have a lot of courage and are always trying to change for the better - and most often to change themselves before they worry about changing others.
Anyway, it's inspiring to me that God doesn't want perfection; He wants 110% and courage to do the hard things when He asks. It's like the 10 Commandments - they aren't there for us to follow them perfectly and thus live a sinless life, because that's impossible. They are there to show us right from wrong and our need for a Savior.
Just my thoughts.....
:)
Oh and I just wanted to add (about the apparent meaningless of life), all of our independent human plans are eventually going to turn out to be meaningless if we're not seeking to glorify God in them. But these "inspiring" Christian people I was talking about aren't like super-Christians or anything....like I said, they're rough-around-the-edges, they have normal (and sometimes extremely boring) jobs. The only difference is that they truly seek God and try to please Him in what they do. It requires some kind of consciousness of what you're doing and why you're doing it, that I haven't mastered yet. But I think it's some sort of clue. Normal people can have not only meaningful, but incredibly impactful lives. These few people have had a huge impact on me as a Christian and as a person, and most of them time they didn't even know it. Don't underestimate the impact of an "apparently meaningless life" just because you can't see results from it right away. Remember that our culture values instant gratification, but God works on His own schedule.
Good thoughts Verya, although I don't agree with everything, I agree with the general gist. And Nathan, excelent point. I have a hard time remembering that sometimes.
Just out of curiosity, what do you disagree with?
(I'm bored...nobody is really doing much online these days and I'm itching for a good conversation, lol.)
Well, just that I do think living an upright moral life is more important than having any kind of great passionate or emotional relationship with Christ. I mean, I understand that there are people like that, but I would hope they were on the path to correcting those "rough edges," not just accepting them.
Maybe that is what you meant though, I don't know.
On second thought, maybe both how you live and your personal relationship with Christ are equally important. You just can't substitute one for the other, you know? You would probably agree with that.
Good points, and I definitely see where you're coming from.
Let me see if I can get it out a little more clearly. I'm not sure I'm entirely black and white on the subject myself, so we'll see.
I guess what I think is that the relationship is where the brunt of the work should be. If all you work on is your lifestyle and making it "good," you're just working on the symptoms and not the actual problem. For example, if you use a lot of negative words when talking to others, and decide to try and correct that, you're fixing the symptom of a sin, but not doing anything about the relationship with Christ. It's possible that fixing the one will make the other easier, but I think a better way is....
...if you are #1 priority focused on Christ and your personal relationship with Him, the other things will follow naturally, and probably in the best order (as the fruits of the relationship manifest themselves in your life, and as God picks the areas that need work instead of us picking them and trying to fix them ourselves).
Don't get me wrong, I think trying to live upright, righteous lives is a good and wonderful thing. but what I'm saying is that spending quality time with God should come first and be at the heart of it all. Then it will be the motivation for the lifestyle changes.
As far as the "rough edges" go, haha....
what I mean by rough edges aren't necessarily sin, but just aren't smart choices, or maybe aren't what you expect the "model Christian" to be like. I have some good friends who I look up to as strong Christian men - they drink occasionally (but don't get drunk), some of them smoke, and a few of them use 'choice language' now and then.
I don't have anything against responsible drinking; I think smoking is just a bad choice healthwise but that's my only problem with it; the language I disagree with of course.
But what I'm getting at is that these people don't always look like our model of a perfect Christian. Yet they are some of the people in my church that I look up to the most as far as their relationship with Christ is concerned, and where I see the fruit is firstly in the important things - working on family issues, personal humility, courage, encouragement to others, stronger and healthier relationships with others, and sometimes confessions when necessary, when it would be really easy to cover it up and pretend nothing is wrong. In all this, Christ is the heart and the driving factor, and these particular people are those who focus on that relationship, and then have the courage and the guts to do the right thing even when it's the hardest thing.
I guess the "rough around the edges" thing just stands out to me because 1) it's not where I subconsciously expect to find inspirational faith, and 2) it's a reminder that God can use our humdrum, unhealthy lives for His glory in powerful ways. so that helps me remember that my life isn't meaningless if I keep my relationship with God at the center, because when I make myself available to Him, He'll use me in the very best way.
CONTINUED......
And yeah, eventually I hope that the "rough edges" things will change. I'd really like one of my good friends to stop smoking. I wish one wouldn't swear. But my point is that we all have rough edges - maybe these ones are just more noticeable and tend to get condemned within the church more often. Actually I ADMIRE them - not for their rough edges, but for openly having flaws when it would be easy to cover them up (how often do you see someone smoking in the church parking lot?)
But when I see what these people do, how much courage they have to do really hard and important things when God asks it of them, I can let the "rough" things go. That stuff is between them and God; meanwhile, I can learn from their examples in the other areas I mentioned above. What I abhor is people who have some of these same issues (which is probably most of the church), but put on a church face and hide them. Only when you're open and vulnerable about your little problems can you hope to get to the bigger ones. I admire the people who are open about the little problems and are attacking the bigger ones. I think a lot of times people judge them for the little problems and don't even see the bigger picture of courage.
I guess overall it's more how I picture the early church functioning. Did they really have more problems than our church today? Or were they just more honest about their problems? I don't know. What I do know is that a healthy relationship with God is at the heart of a healthy relationship with anyone else, and that a lot of the time, God challenges us to fix the major problems first, and the minor problems later as we see them more clearly.
I hope that makes a little more sense. I was thinking it through mostly as I was writing. So I'm not really sure if we are agreeing or disagreeing. That's just a bit more where I'm coming from.
And, lol, I have a feeling we're WAY off-topic from your original post. :) But I'm gonna blame that on you for not posting in so long.
Eeeeyyyyeeeeahhh....
That's my really hesitant "yeah" to what you're saying. :-)
I guess... well, first I might disagree with you on weather or not smoking and swearing are sins. But I haven't done tons of research on either so I'll leave it at that.
The fact that someone has courage in admitting to their faults is good, but I'm not sure it's a Biblical virtue or anything like that. And I would add that you can't cancel out your vices with virtues.
I think God DOES call us to be perfect. He says, "be ye perfect as I am perfect." He knows we arn't going to be able to attain to this, but anything short of perfection is sin in his eyes and we can't accept that in ourselves or in others.
Of course we have to understand grace, too, and the concept that Christ has already paid for all of our sins and the sins of others. We have to recognize that it's not our job to focus on other people's faults or try to change them. And we have to understand that our sin is being forgiven even as we make those mistakes. But we should have plenty of motovation to avoid those mistakes anyway, knowing what it costs Christ every time.
That's how I see it... maybe just comming at it from another side. I think I basically agree with you, though.
why did you delete your new post?
i was about to say the last two have been removed, was it to late for posting to be a good idea? ;)
never too late. :) I always write at night.
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