words, beauty, and Christ

my words weigh heavy on the alter
breathing in and out with the breath of deceit
each ragged gasp begging for life
from a mistress who has come to loath them
oh how empty you seem now!
lying there where I have left you
where someday I will slay you
once you have exausted yourselves in empty servitude
I will snuff out your life breath
and live forever in silence
as self-punishment for the ugliness you have conjured
for yes, it will hurt me
to plunge the knife into your beating hearts
for oh how I love the sound of your voices
each one of you gleaming on slippery tongues
spilling out over one another
in empty, worthless measures of meaning
which exist in noise and letters
and nothing more
let that be your deathblow, oh empty words of mine
nothing more than waves and letters
in the crucible of time
and I would but do without you
if I only could
if only there were ways to silence
the heart cry from which you birth
for killing you will not stop the pain
which makes your emptness spill forth
oh words, how I wish I could hate you
and be done
but instead I must turn on ugliness
rising up inside me, turning heads away
and while I stand boldly
stripped of finary
before Him whos beauty cannot be told
I blush to step before the ranks of the condemned
who cannot know the half of my scars
and who bear them yet themselves
I would flee from their critical eyes
and blame my words for making me foolish
before turning to face the living mirror
where a picture so horrid awaits
my heart would long for the bleeding of words
upon an alter
so beautiful would it be
when compared with the face
that I see there